PART 1. How can we manage anxiety and overwhelm
during perimenopause and menopause?
You have to know one thing: anxiety is self-perpetuating. The more anxious you feel the more anxious you become. It brings other experiences too: rumination, feelings of worthlessness, and shame. They all linger in the shadows of the mind like unwanted party guests. If anxiety is left unchecked, and those guests are not shown the door, it can turn into feelings of overwhelm. These are very common symptoms of the perimenopause and menopause.
I was a guest speaker on a live webinar with The Happy Menopause recently. We were discussing how to manage anxiety and overwhelm in peri/menopause. Over 400 women joined us. Some shared their stories in the chat box.
My social media feed is full of women calling out their newfound misgivings – forgetting the name of objects or people, not remembering why they’ve walked into a particular room, worrying about palpitations or unexplainable depression, even panicking about early-onset dementia.
But most of us don’t talk about everything we experience. We become embarrassed, taciturn, believing that it’s just happening to us, or hoping that it will just go away. But we also feel ashamed, as if we brought this on ourselves. But you didn’t.
So hello and a big warm welcome to this 3-part article. I will share some facts about anxiety and overwhelm, and teach you some practices that me and my clients love.
How many of these do you experience?
Ruminating on things that might never happen
Having restless nights fretting about something you did or did not do or say
Suddenly becoming overwrought with panic in the middle of doing something mundane, like shopping in the supermarket or driving on the motorway
You can’t think clearly, have become absent-minded or find it difficult to concentrate
You have palpitations although there’s no immediate danger
You’re more tearful than usual
You feel tired, achy and notice tension in your muscles
It takes you longer to calm down, it is almost impossible to relax
You don’t feel like your normal self, losing confidence in who you are and what you are capable of
Each of these is a sign that you are susceptible to increased anxiety, which can lead to overwhelm. I had to stop and take a photo this poor tree I came across in Catalunya… she’s still hanging on but only just!
What Is anxiety?
Anxiety is a perfectly normal reaction to things that are, or feel, outside of our control. We have a cognitive reaction, e.g. worry thoughts like ‘I’ve done something wrong’, internal self-critical thoughts like ‘I should… I must…’, rumination and the 3am fretting etc.
When we feel anxious we experience a variety of physiological reactions, such as a pounding heart, sweaty palms, hot chest, stomach cramps, dry mouth, breathlessness etc. This is the body responding to a threat, as it prepares to stay and fight, or run away.
anxiety can be useful
Imagine you step out to cross a road. A motorcycle appears from around the corner and you leap back onto the kerb to safety. In a matter of milliseconds your brain has registered imminent danger, an actual threat.
Before you have had time to pause and think, ‘oh look there’s a motorbike coming at speed towards me, it might kill me, I should probably get out of its way’, this scenario had activated systems in your brain that alerted your body to prepare it for fight or flight.
The problem is that while your brain is doing a fabulous job at protecting you – it is wired to keep you alive in situations such as this – your brain is also extremely good at misinterpreting information in non-life threatening events.
Say your manager calls you. For many this is anxiety-inducing – you instantly worry you’ve done something wrong! You then experience the same physiological reactions as if the motorcycle were coming towards you – breathlessness, heart-thumping, sharp pains in the pit of your stomach etc. Was the phone call an actual threat to your life? No, but your brain perceived it as such.
We know that in short bursts, anxiety can be useful, such as in actual life-threatening situations or when you’re under pressure to perform well. Usually, immediately after these scenarios your brain and body get to relax and reset.
But if your brain is responding to random perceived threats, or you feel anxious for prolonged periods, then stay tuned to find out what you can do to prevent your thoughts and feelings from taking over your life.
What is overwhelm?
Think of overwhelm as stress that gets stressed… pretty bloody awful! You feel as though everything is out of control. You might feel a sense of paralysis, lose interest in things that normally bring you joy, such as seeing friends or planning a day out. You feel heavy and numb. You can’t think clearly or make quick decisions. You feel exhausted, burnt out. It’s as if you are unable to function. You might feel irritable, snap at others, or cry easily.
These feelings also manifest in physical ailments, aches, cramps, and pain, which perpetuate your anxiety and cause you to feel even more overwhelmed. Left unchecked, you might find yourself sliding into depression, being susceptible to high blood pressure and heart disease.
And if you didn’t feel depressed just reading that, I’m so sorry to say…
your hormones AREN’T helpING
Pre-menopause, oestrogen helps keep our body well, our mood stable and our memory functioning. However, during perimenopause, as oestrogen drops we are more likely to experience mood swings, low energy, and poor or broken sleep (night sweats, anyone?!).
During perimenopause, progesterone tends to fluctuate unexpectedly. The pace and direction of this fluctuation is also affected by how stressed you already feel, i.e. the level of cortisol in your body and how well your brain is regulating it.
Even our naturally low levels of testosterone diminish further, taking our confidence, stamina and sex-drive with it.
It’s as though our own body is turning against us, punishing us… and for what? For living longer, according to the historian speaking on the radio this morning. So I guess reaching peri/menopause is actually something we should be grateful for.
it effects all aspects of our life
At this point I want to say that I really feel for the millions of women who have gone before us who never understood what was happening to them or why. And I want to call out the systemic problem that still exists. I promise to get to the positive stuff soon, but here are some recently reported facts:
77% of women experience one or more symptoms they describe as ‘very difficult’
69% say they experience difficulties with anxiety or depression due to menopause
84% experience trouble sleeping
73% experience brain fog
Alas, do not fear my lovely! There are plenty of things we can do about ALL of this…
**COMING SOON**
PART 2. can Hormones be helpful?
PART 3. Practical solutions for menopause anxiety