They say you’re too nice at work.

 

Okay, so you’re performing well at work, and managing a team, but there’s one tiny issue that you are desperate to resolve. It’s preventing you from moving further up the career ladder.

You have been told that you are “too nice”. You smile too much. You look young for your years. You are female in what is still a male-dominated industry.

They don’t take you as seriously as your male counterparts, but it’s not sexism, after all, they are the ones who promoted you into your current role. And you like working with most of them.

You are aware that your niceness is mistaken for weakness. This is impacting your career. When you speak, they don’t hear what you say. But when someone else repeats your idea, they get all the credit.

When you offer to support someone on a project, you do most of the work but hardly get any of the credit.

You are certain your peers will be promoted instead of you. And that p*sses you off.

You really want this next step in your career. And part of you knows you’ll do a god job.

You don’t want to change your personality, but you can’t see any other way.

 

 

You tried “gravitas” training

 

You recently spoke to a career coach, who, on the face of it understood your problem.

She told you to “fake it ‘til you make it” and pretend and act as if you’re a confident version of yourself.

She told you how to speak and move your body in way to make you more… manly. Smile less. Drop your voice. Sound more certain. Don’t make rising inflections at the end of a sentence. Hold yourself stiff. Don’t tilt your head. Stopping nodding even when you agree. Stop saying ‘sorry’.

But you felt more awkward. Plus, you couldn’t remember all of these instructions. And then you felt worse for failing.

You grew more frustrated because while you did want to feel more self-assured, you didn’t want to turn into a cardboard version of yourself.

 

But you’d like a personalised approach

 

I told you I could help you feel more self-assured without having to go through a personality transplant.

I reminded you that they hired you for being you, not a bland version of you.

I promised that I would help you be more you – not less.

I told you that with my help they will be asking for your opinion and be listening carefully to the answer.

 

 

Harness your ‘niceness’, don’t hide it

 

Your niceness is a strength you need to harness.

Your niceness is grounded in empathy – you have a natural ability to tune into others

You have the incredible ability to make people feel valued, included, liked and trusted.

You are not like most people.

Your quiet energy could hold a lot of power.

Your power could be used as a force for doing good.

You understand this now.

 

You’ll even get the promotion

 

6 coaching sessions later, you emailed to tell me you’ve been promoted to the ‘head of’ role you wanted next. You’ll be earning more, travelling overseas for work, and managing a bigger team. You are excited beyond belief about acheiving this step up in your career.

You said you enjoy a quiet powerful inner confidence that reminds you of what you’re capable of. Your ‘king pole’ is strong and can withstand any storm. For the first time, you really do trust yourself.

Your way of working is now valued, and it is having a surprising impact on others.

Some of them smile more. They are more relaxed and no longer posturing. You have great relationships with your growing team.

The pieces have fallen into place.

You are living out one of your goals – making senior hiring decisions to get more ‘nice’ people into the organisation.

 

I think it should be said, you are simply brilliant.

 

All of the work we did together – as a psychologist coach I can only take so much credit. But you trusted me.

I saw your pain and together we healed a few wounds.

I also saw your resourcefulness. And together we cultivated your inner power.

You became stronger. And now you shine.

 

Here’s to you, and the other potential empathy-powered leaders like you.

May you revel in your infinite impact.

Jess x

 

 

ps. If you’d like to find out how we can work together, book a call with me here: https://calendly.com/jessbaker/

pps. This is one of many examples of the problems my coaching clients come to me with. Please check out the ‘testimonials’ page for details of real people whose lives have been transformed by working with me.

EM~POWERED LEADERSHIP DEVELOPMENT IS FOR…

THIS EMPOWERED LEADERSHIP DEVELOPMENT PROGRAMME IS FOR…

✔ Empathic professionals who want to step into leadership with confidence

✔ Senior leaders who need to develop the next generation of impactful, people-first leaders

✔ Organisations wanting a cost-effective and results-driven leadership development strategy